BFA to LLB

20-year old Napa.

2008-03-22T19:23:41Z

I recently tried my first gorgeous wine: a 1988 Opus One.

My hastily scribbled notes:
"Concentrated nose. New oak fairly pronounced. Very delicate. Soft tannins. Extended finish. Noticeable lack of acidity. Deep orange hue. Smokey and leathery."

But of course, this fails to articulate how nice of a bottle it really was.

Wine of the Month.

2008-03-05T05:28:43Z

My current hobby is drinking cheap wine. In the past few weeks it has eclipsed other pastimes like chess, horticulture and shortwave radio (Jenny refers to these as "spontaneous obsessions.") I have decided that as a passionate non-expert I have a moral obligation to report on my wine explorations - fuck the meritocracy.

I should note that as a poor person I can only afford the bottom tier of wines. So perhaps my featured wine should be classified as being the 'best of the worst.' I have no doubt that there are countless bottles of superior wine in the $50 range (and probably a few lesser.)

Without further wait, the winner is: Casillero del Diablo Carménère Reserva 2006!

The name of this wine translates roughly to "devil in the cellar" based on the an longstanding legend that a demon inhabited the basement of the winery. Likely this is just marketing, regardless the wine is brilliant. My understanding is that the carménère varietal was transported to Chile from France has thrived in its new home. The opaque purple hue of the grape looks similar to a syrah in the glass, but is much more gentle and delicate. The bouquet is warm and inviting - for some reason it reminded me of spring. I found the finish to be absolutely gorgeous. It's long with a strong oak overtone. Nice tannins too. For $11 I highly recommend it.

The Countdown.

2008-03-04T20:40:10Z

In five months I expect to be living in the 4000km range between Saskatoon and Halifax. In fifty-four days I won't be living in my apartment. I gave my notice even though I haven't yet received a single acceptance from any law school. I'm planning my future around a series of educated guesses.

Someone innocently mentioned to me, not knowing that it would hit me like a pillowcase stuffed with bars of soap, that they couldn't believe any law school would let me in considering how I look. They said that I look completely eccentric compared to everyone at Osgoode. And they're probably right - I probably do look and act different even though I don't mean to.

I comfort myself by saying that I've probably lived a different life than most of them; a pretty fucked up life in a lot of respects. But then I realize that even if that's the case, it doesn't matter in the eyes of a prospective employer. They want someone who can fit in and play the game. And I sometimes really doubt that I can. I don't know that I can hide the scars on my body or be charming and normal and like everyone else. I see the photos of people on the Dalhousie law school Facebook group and wonder if I'll have anything in common with them.

The past few days have been a series of nominal events like this one and they've worn me down. I try not to think about things and instead keep my mind busy. It sort of works.

There are a couple things on days like this that do give me a sense of hope. One is the knowledge that law school is rife with psychological disorders. Granted the majority of it this probably stems from the workload, but even that makes me feel as though everyone might not be nearly as normal as they let on. The other thing that gives me hope is hearing stories of public officials being caught in bizarre scandals. If people like this can be in the public eye without letting on that they live double-lives then this suggests to me that I can at the very least fit in with enough effort.

Policing the police.

2008-03-02T02:48:59Z

I was passing through the Eaton Center this evening and witnessed something that made me furious.

I'm not sure what the incident was that warranted so many police officers, but 10 or 20 cops and security officers were in the middle of arresting a group of people. One of the police officers shouted down a floor at a 14 year old who was standing around watching. The police then proceeded to go down the escalator, grab him and throw him against the wall. They asked him a few questions and then grabbed him hard by the throat. This was in front of a fairly large audience of bystanders.

Now let's assume he was a criminal. Considering that he wasn't resisting at all as far as I could see, even if he was guilty of an offence I do not believe for a second that he should have been treated this way. I contemplated storming over and getting in the middle of this until I realized that I don't really know a whole lot about what his rights are. I mean, of course I'm aware that the police should only use the minimum amount of force necessary, but beyond that there's no way I could present myself as an expert. I doubt I could be of much help at all.

If there's one benefit that I can be sure I'll get out of law school it would be the knowledge necessary to help out in situations like this when there are angry cops abusing their power.

U.S. Schools.

2008-02-29T22:30:54Z

I've found it interesting how actively law schools from the US market themselves. I've received no fewer than 25 emails and brochures - some of them quite robust and glossy, usually offering to waver their application fee.

I suppose this isn't surprising considering that there's money to be made from students, especially if you factor in alumni donations, but what's interesting is how Canadian schools don't actively recruit students in the same way. Maybe this is because Canadian schools aren't tiered in the same way so they aren't under the same pressure to get top students? I'm not sure. Regardless $20,000-30,000 annual price tag to head south of the border is too rich for me.

"Excuse me, I think you're in my spot."

2008-02-20T05:03:07Z

I like to come early for my modes of reasoning lecture. My laptop is a hand-me-down with only 15 minutes of power so I have to compete for access to one of the few outlets in the room. Today was a good day in the sense that I got there early and secured myself a source of electricity.

Just before class was going to start I got up to get a drink of water. I had been eating fried rice and suspect that it had MSG. I suspect that MSG makes me thirsty. When I arrived back in the lecture hall and found where I had been sitting I immediately noticed that all my stuff had disappeared - my open laptop, my Harper's magazine, my camoflauge backpack, my really really nice H&M jacket. In the seat where I had been sitting was a grade A dooshbag who had spread his stuff out everywhere and powered his laptop into the wall outlet.

So I started looking around for my stuff. Under the chair: no. Under the table: no. At the back of the room: no. Then it hits me - someone must have stolen all my things. I started asking around if anyone saw someone take my laptop. I asked the people sitting in front, behind, everywhere and nobody had seen anything. The person sitting in my spot said at this point, "I've been here for an hour and I haven't seen anything." Then another thought comes to my mind: "What if I'm not in the right room?"

I raced outside and checked the door number and the lecture schedule posted on the wall. It was the right room. Then I decided to take a one in a million chance, even though I realized what a long shot it was, and checked the lecture hall next door. As I walked in I realized - there it all was - my laptop open, my Harper's spread out on the table. I bundled it up in my arms as quickly as I could and tried to exit back to my class pretending nothing had happened.

I think if I said that this was deeply embarrassing it may be an understatement.

The worst thing is that I don't think this sort of thing happens to other people. At least not with the same magnitude or frequency. I think my whole life is sort of like this.

School predictions.

2008-02-19T03:55:44Z

LSAT: 162 (86th percentile)

Manitoba
School Averages

Early acceptance index score requirement: 75.0
Last year index score cutoff: 73.0

Current

Adjusted GPA: 3.52
Index score: 74.11

Anticipated Final

Adjusted GPA: 3.69
Index score: 75.99

Prediction: Safely in

Saskatchewan
School Averages

Median GPA: 3.56
Median LSAT: 156

Current

Adjusted GPA: 3.11

Anticipated Final

Adjusted GPA: 3.48

Prediction: Safely in

New Brunswick
School Averages

Average GPA: 3.8
Average LSAT: 159

Current

Adjusted GPA: 3.26

Anticipated Final

Adjusted GPA: 3.49

Prediction: Likely accepted early summer

Dalhousie
School Averages

Average GPA: Unknown (estimated 81%)
Average LSAT: Unknown (estimated 160)

Current

Adjusted Grade: 76.2%

Anticipated Final

Adjusted Grade: 79.2%

Prediction: Likely in if waitlist moves a couple spots

My cat has diarrhea.

2008-02-19T03:05:20Z

I try to not do this sort of thing, but this one seems especially fun. You're welcome to try to answer if you read this.

THE FILM MEME
1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.

NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions for answers!

1. "No, then it sounds like a male fantasy. Meet a French girl on the train, fuck her, and never see her again." - Before Sunrise
2. "It's amazing what perverts we've become in the past nine years."
3. "That's the trouble with ya New York dope fiends. Ya got a rotten attitude." - Requiem for a Dream
4. "You and your plans. You know what my grandmother used to say? If you want to make God laugh... tell Him your plans."
5. "In May's eyes, I'm no different from a can of pineapple."
6. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. Where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?"
7. "WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... FUCK-US-UP... to help those who are going out there to try to earn a living... You fairy. You company man. "
8. "And we both have two dogs, and we both live in L.A., so we have all these different things in common."
9. "Have you ever been struck by lightning? It hurts."
10. "I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you." 2001
11. "Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face."
12. "An innocent prisoner will become more angry by the hour due to the injustice suffered. He will shout and rage. A guilty prisoner becomes more calm and quiet. Or he cries. He knows he's there for a reason. The best way to establish guilt or innocence is non-stop interrogation."
13. "Fields in front. The village is wide open to horsemen... until the fields are flooded. One guard for each direction takes four. Two more as a reserve. You'll need at least... seven, including me." Seven Samurai
14. "And kidnappers - their point is to terrorize people. But *I* am not terrorized, and *you* can't be terrorized."
15. "He comes in here every other night. He has his favorite drink, and his favourite table, with his favorite dancer. Sometimes he has to wait for her, and sometimes she's waiting for him, to protect him. She's his angel."

Developments.

2008-02-18T05:47:05Z

The only news I've heard from schools that I've applied to has been disappointing. Dalhousie has said that I'm not competitive for this round and that they will reconsider me in the spring. I suppose this is to be expected. My current weighted GPA would come in at around a meager 3.15. The silver lining is that my weighted GPA should rise to about 3.4 come April. A little more competitive. This should put me in decent shape.

On a related note, I've decided that my living situation really isn't working out and I've decided to give the obligatory 60 days notice. I'll be taking a month to travel around Europe and Asia soon after. I'm hoping that when I arrive back I'll have an acceptance waiting in the mail although I would be lying if I didn't have a tremendous amount of doubt.

It's difficult to not know where I'll be living in August. It would be nice to be able to plan for the future and have some sort of idea where I'll land. All I know is- fuck, there's no better place to let this loose other than here:

Here is what's really on my mind these days. I'm really concerned that I'm going to fuck off this semester in some sort of semi-conscious self-destructive mess. Although it looks like I have a couple A+'s this semester the real problem is in this course I'm retaking - I somehow managed to get a D a while ago and it's been haunting me because I can't figure out why. I registered for the course again - this time online - but even though the semester is 6 weeks in I haven't been able to summon the strength to watch a single lecture or do a single reading. And this is really not good and it's making me feel like I can't breathe sometimes.

And a lot of the time I walk around trying to force myself to think and act like a lawyer would act. I'm trying to force myself to toughen up and become more professional. But I'm having such a hard time avoiding making mistakes. As usual, I'm not communicating myself the way I want - not even here when I have time to think before I write and the power the delete the things I don't want to say. What I'm trying to deal with these days is recreating the person I am and finding myself grossly inadequate - I'd like to be clever and charming and efficient and focused but I'm just not meeting those goals.

So that's where I am right now - and maybe that's where I'm supposed to be, where everyone is supposed to be at this point in the game. It gets under my skin. I'm not sure if I'll be living in Saskatoon or Halifax in a few months and I'm not sure what either place will bring or if I'll ever be ready to handle those challenges. That's my life at the moment. And I suppose it's neither good nor bad.

Anger management.

2008-02-05T23:56:45Z

When it comes to law school and beyond I'm not that concerned about my capability or passion. Both will be tested and pushed to their limits, but I believe I can eventually overcome any challenges that they are linked to. What I am sincerely concerned about though is the social requirements: public speaking, generally getting along with coworkers, etc.

To focus on one of my many faults, I have a bit of a temper. I manage to keep in check better these days than I used to. I would estimate that I only have a major outburst once every few months and a small one every couple of weeks. Maybe more, maybe less.

I suppose anger can be an effective mode of persuasion in select circumstances when employed properly, but I tend to explode in a less controlled way. I don't think this is all that abnormal - I find where there is extended contact between any two humans there is almost always conflict - but I do think that I tend to shoot myself in the foot sometimes when it happens since I act at the wrong time and often refrain from biting my tongue. My concern is that this will happen in a law school or in a law firm.

To give a recent example of my anger-in-action, today I let loose on my roommates. It was partially justified - from a rational standpoint I'd say that both parties are kind of in the wrong, like most arguments. Regardless it was a little over-the-top and regrettable.

An even more embarrassing example that I'm trying desperately to forget took place a couple of years ago. I sent a terrible barrage of drunken furious emails to one of my professors (who was kind enough NOT to forward them to the dean.) Since then I more-or-less patched things up with the professor, but it's still something that brings me a sharp stinging feeling in my stomach whenever I think about it.

I suppose this is just another item on my long list of things to improve upon.

How I spent $3750 in 14 days.

2008-02-01T18:18:19Z

This probably makes for the most uninteresting journal entry possible, but sometimes I can't help but to entertain my love of numbers.

The subject line makes this sound more dramatic than it is. Basically I paid a couple extra months of rent in advance, paid off my debts from X-mas, and paid for transcripts/applications.

Unavoidable expenses: $2805
University related

textbooks for class 100
transcripts for law school 100
applications to law school 195

Monthly upkeep

phone bill 23
two months advance rent 1150
past hydro bill 140
medical 65

Bank related

overdraft payment 490
ING savings 250
bank fees 32
credit card payment 260

Questionable expenses : $423

birthday gift - special order shiraz: 40
late christmas gift - The Wire: 63
late christmas gift - rare tree: 160
groceries from market: 160

Unnecessary expenses: $530

few bottles wine: 40
gym membership: 170
shortwave radio: 80
Rembrandt teeth whitening kit: 40
dining out: 60
misc: 40
books for myself: 100

Rant
Basic Butchering of Livestock and Game
One L
The 500 Best-Value Wines in the LCBO
How to Taste: A Guide to Enjoying Wine
The Hollywood Standard: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Script Format and Style

Now I have $120 per week until the summer to cover food, fees, and entertainment.

Applications.

2008-01-27T03:45:04Z

Few things to mention, none of which I have time to mention.

The fall grades have been released. Nothing is new; I'm still a lazy student. I got an A, B+, and a B (all of which is disappointing considering that I don't really have a good excuse for not getting all A's.)

The bad news is that since I was in the hospital for my cinematography exam my marks weren't reported. I later wrote it and assume that I did fairly well in the course, but for now the grade on my transcript is being listed as "NGR F". I wouldn't care normally except that this is being sent to all the law schools I'm applying to. It's causing me stress.

I'm just finishing up my applications now. I may still apply to a couple US schools but for the meantime this is the final list:

Dalhousie
Windsor
Manitoba
Saskatchewan
New Brunswick

The total cost of my applications and transcript requests has been $685.

Based on my rough calculations I should, in theory, be accepted at all five of these schools (although Windsor seems to be a little strange so I'm not certain.)

Debt.

2008-01-09T16:23:21Z

For future reference:

Assuming a 9.5-year repayment rate at a prime rate of 6%, my current student debt will total me $183 a month.

Getting into some heavy speculation here, but if I manage to get into Dalhousie I expect that I may graduate with about $30,000 in additional debt. Assuming the previously mentioned variables that'll increase my monthly cost to $576 (or $7k a year.)

Good news for a change.

2007-12-22T22:58:58Z

As I said before, my initial September LSAT showing was disappointing. I walked away with a 154 (60th percentile). So over the past couple of months I've started working out the specifics of Plan B (namely, to give up on law school and instead flee to another country to temporarily escape my student loans.)

My rewrite turned out to be surprisingly fruitful. I managed to magically pull off a 162, which puts me at a much more competitive 86th percentile. This means that I probably won't have to be teaching English overseas nor selling a vital organ to pay for a plane ticket. At least not yet.

Suddenly, Dalhousie looks not only possible but very likely. Based on my estimates I should have an index score of 81.2. This is derived from the 60-40 {Last two years as percentage, best LSAT percentile} formula that Dal allegedly uses. Supposedly the average entering index score last year was 80.

Maybe now is a good time to start worrying about OCIs?

December 1st LSAT report.

2007-12-02T04:18:27Z

Assuming that this entry will be found in the future by some law school hopefuls , I'll attempt to describe my method of preparation and give an evaluation of my resulting performance.

It's probably important to stress two things: one, the preparatory steps I took will probably have different effects for different people; two, I'm only able to approximate the value of each of these steps and therefore they are subject to potential inaccuracy. Also, for the purpose of relative comparison I'll rate each step on a scale of 0 to 5 stars - this will be a measurement of perceived benefit after taking into consideration the time/money required.

First off, here's a breakdown of my particular situation:

First timed LSAT: 156 (70th percentile)
Highest practice score: 163 (90th percentile)
Consistent weakest section: Logic games

_______

FIRST ACTUAL TEST: SEP 31, 2007

Preparation

Oxford Seminars 30-hour preparation course [*] : I found this to be a general overview of the concepts that I was already familiar with. I credit this with at most a 1 mark increase and would not recommend it to anyone who is already scoring over 150.
Kaplan LSAT, 2007 Edition: Comprehensive Program book [**] : The price was right, but again it suffers from similar problems to the prep course - too general and basic. A couple interesting strategies are discussed and it helps familiarize you with the different question types, but I did not find it to be a great resource.
Ace the LSAT Logic Games book [***] : Since this book has 600 pages specifically tailored to my problem section, it was of more use. Its strongest asset was the amount of practice it provides. Although the majority of the questions aren't official LSAT questions, they are close enough that it helps develop effective strategies for quick setup and efficient problem-solving.
Chess [**] : I read an article that suggested IQ scores can rise by repeatedly playing chess (or similar puzzle games.) I assumed the same would be true for LSAT scores and started playing daily for a couple months. Did it benefit me? Not sure but it allowed to me to have fun without feeling guilty.
The Next 10 Actual, Official LSAT PrepTests book [*****] : I believe this to be the most important book in preparing for the LSAT. It provides you with considerable opportunity to improve at personal strategies and helps condition you to writing full tests (which often can be mentally draining.) Plus they're recent therefore fairly similar to the actual test you'll write.
10 More Actual, Official LSAT PrepTests book [***] : After having already done 10 tests I found this to be sort of overkill. Plus these tests are a little more dated than "The Next 10".

Evaluation

My biggest problem was stress. I went in feeling as though I still wasn't fully prepared. Even though I vowed to relax the day before, I still couldn't put down my book and locked myself into the basement on Friday night before the test. I don't normally suffer from test anxiety, but the LSAT is a pretty big deal. I believe this substantially reduced my score. I can't offer much advice on stress management - do whatever works for you.

My other big problem was the time of day. I'm naturally a late riser and I don't usually reach my energy peak until the afternoon. I was consistently writing practice tests in the evening - this was a mistake. I had trouble adjusting my schedule in time for the LSAT. If you can effectively train yourself to get up at 5:00 in the morning every day then it may be an advantage.

The score I earned was mediocre and below any score I had received in the past: 154 (60th percentile). The news was difficult to stomach.

__________

SECOND ACTUAL TEST: DEC 1, 2007

Preparation

Tutor [*] : In my case this was not beneficial. Granted it was only a two-hour meeting and I could see it being useful over a longer timeframe, but factoring in the costs it would be something I'd be hesitant to recommend. Of course, it depends on many things: the teaching abilities of the tutor, the pre-existing knowledge of the student, etc.
Self-hypnosis [***] : I regret not having more time to explore this because I suspect it may have yielded positive results. I picked up a couple of medical handbooks (see Essentials of Clinical Hypnosis [Lynn, Kirsch] and Handbook of Clinical Hypnosis [Rhue, Lynn, Kirsch] and briefly experimented with anxiety management using some of the strategies. Over a couple weeks of practice I could see this being highly effective for anyone who struggles with stress.
Formal Logic university course [**] : Surprisingly difficult to apply these principles to the logic games or analytical reasoning. Perhaps it gives you an opportunity to mentally train for the LSAT by consistently exercising similar thinking strategies, but I remain skeptical.
Dressing the part [***] : I spent the evening before ironing a dress shirt, polishing my best shoes, etc. Debatable, of course, but I believe it helps establish the proper psychological state needed to write the exam.
Chiropractor/Massage [**] : I decided to bust my bank account and go for an hour long massage plus two chiropractor appointments during the week leading up to the LSAT. Not sure if this helped at all, but I can say that back pain wasn't an issue during the exam.

Evaluation

Although the results are still pending and I realize there is a substantial chance that I did not perform to the best of my abilities (thus condemning me to a third attempt) I feel confident that I did significantly better this time around. I regret not spending more time writing practice LSATs in the past couple of weeks, but time has been scarce. I also regret not being able to adjust my sleeping schedule as much as I would have liked.

LSAT.

2007-11-20T16:42:53Z

11 days until the LSAT. I'm so swamped and/or inefficient that I haven't begun to study this round. I feel like I'm watching my dreams crumble in slow-motion.

Dalhousie Law

2007-11-08T00:59:11Z

This is my top choice right now, even over UBC. Reputation, location, and admissions method being the biggest factors.

Admissions:

60% GPA (last 2)
40% LSAT (best)

Come May, this will give me a weighted GPA of about 3.56 or 80.2%.

Apparently they combine your mark as a percentage with your LSAT percentile to create an index score. Last year, according to the word on the street, the average index score was 80. If this is the case then I'd have to score a 160 on the LSAT to be in good shape.

So, definitely achievable. Many hurdles though.

Obstacles.

2007-11-06T22:01:02Z

Here are my foreseeable obstacles - for both getting into law school and getting through law school:

Focus
Anxiety
Health

.Focus
A typical example of my lack of ability to self-motivate: today I woke up at 11, had a shower, watched a short documentary on the ghost sightings in the London Underground, and played some chess. What I should have done: woke up at 8, taken books out of library, wrote half of research paper.

It's critical that I improve at 'getting shit done'. This is something I've been struggling with since high school and although I've improved substantially I view my skill level as inadequate.

.Anxiety
Mainly focused on social situations but also in relation to the LSAT. I see myself as increasingly hesitant to be around people lately and this fear needs to be minimized. I'm drastically under-confident and it makes me hesitant to meet new people or articulate myself the way I'd like. It's most apparent when it comes to public speaking. I'm not bad at it, but I just about have a panic attack every time I have to do it.

.Health
I think my quality of life would increase if I can get my illness under control. Since there is no cure for ulcerative colitis, I have to either decide to have my colon removed or find a way to minimize the symptoms. I think that will make law school much more manageable.

State of the Union.

2007-10-29T01:42:51Z

I realize I am becoming boring. I will try to fight this. That said, I feel an obligation to summarize where I'm at now and that requires lists and numbers and other boring things.

Currently I'm enrolled in my final year of film production at York University. I suppose it sounds kind of exciting - it's not. I'm expecting to graduate with a 3.3 CGPA and a great deal more cynicism than when I started.

I've started applying to law schools across Canada. Here are my six, in order of preference:

Dalhousie
UBC
UNB
Windsor
Manitoba
Saskatchewan

I wrote the LSAT in September and performed poorly. I've decided it was stress. My average on practice tests was in the 82nd percentile, but my actual score was in the 60th percentile.

As it stands right now, with my marks and my score, it is unlikely that I'd get into law school. When I think about this I get worried, stressed, frustrated, and sometimes feel hopeless. This is my dream and I'm not willing to give it up.

The silver lining is that I have another chance at the LSAT. I write again in December. In the meantime I have to prepare substantially while ensuring that I pull off A's and A+'s in my courses.

I shouldn't neglect to mention my sordid financial state. My student loan is two months overdue, law school applications are costing me hundreds of dollars that I don't have, and I'm finding myself increasingly burdened by debt. By my estimation I will owe $16500 after completing my undergrad. A good month for me right now is one where I'm able to pay rent and have food in the fridge.

It's not all bad though. It's sort of enjoyable being on the edge of a massive change and not knowing how it'll turn out.